I Sleepwalk. Do You Remember?

This past weekend we left at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning to drive down to Indianapolis to spectate a major professional golf tournament at a course on which extremely close friends live. Another couple, with whom we are not as close, came to do the same and spend the night as well.

We started making cocktails in the afternoon to sip while following the golfers in the spitting rain. Afternoon vodka with lemonade with a splash of cranberry juice ran right into happy hour, which ran right into dinner with more red wine then a Bailey’s on the rocks (for dessert?) around the fire pit at midnight. Lots of good friends, drinks and laughs.

When everyone diverted to their proper bunking spots (master bedroom on the first floor and the other bedrooms upstairs), we were all intensely tired and heading straight into the feathers. I washed up and started digging for pajamas in the bag I packed for the one day stay. Oops! Not the first time I have forgotten them, but I am usually at a hotel when I do, not in someone’s home. It’s been crazy with moving and traveling out of a suitcase back and forth to the summer spot, etc… My life is not organized at all right now.

Tipsy me thought, “I hate sleeping in a thong. No big deal. We’re all exhausted. I’ll just sneak between the sheets of this (tiny seeming queen sized) bed. Naked. No one will be the wiser and the soft flannel will feel good.”

Wrong. (to the part where no one would notice)

The next thing I remember is crossing the room in the dark. Then opening a door to the light.

As I sleep walk, I typically converse internally.

“Where am I going? What’s out here that I am looking for? Why am I standing in this hall?”

Then, “What the f%$k am I doing here?”

You know the kind of houses that have an open catwalk kind of upstairs hall with railings on both sides? An open, cathedral ceiling foyer with a chandelier and a window above the front door on one side and a living room over the other. That’s the spot. The chandelier was glowing and, yes, I was standing completely naked in the middle of the open hall.

If, indeed, the bathroom was where I was headed, which I am not sure it was, I had not opened the right door. And there I was.

Since I was now up, I figured I should take a potty break before getting back in bed.

The next morning I was telling my friend, who was sleeping down the SAME hall with her husband, what I remembered about my night adventure.

My husband chimed in, “Yeah. I heard the door open and saw you walk out into the hall because the light was on. I figured I would go get you if you got too far or didn’t come back in the next few minutes.”

“Uh, thanks…What if someone was up, and you were taking your sweet time retrieving me? Not sure my nakedness is what anyone would want or expect at 3:00 in the morning.”

The other husband said he would have been okay with it.

The lesson: If you are a confirmed sleepwalker, double check your bag for essentials before you leave the house especially if you are sharing the space with others. I’m sure there are other lessons, as well…

I’ve Been a (Pretty) Good Girl!

image

To: You

From: Me

Subject: Purity

Haven’t I been good? Yo! It’s getting easier. Not that it is as ever hard to leave you alone. It was just a habit, and then the liking part.

Here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jarrylee/jonathan-franzens-purity-to-be-turned-into-a-tv-series-starr?utm_term=.iv302zB2Zv#.itnPA8nALk

 

People (you know who) like to slam him and his books. I am liking Purity so very much. I’m so down to watch this, too.

How do you think it will translate from page to screen?

Have a great day! Disregard the chipped nail polish…

 

 

Day 5: Email 1- Short Story

To: You

From: Me

11:37am

Subject: Loved this short story by Rebecca Schiff!!!

Since you turned me onto the genre, I feel forever in your debt ;-)! This one reminds me of…whose? I’ve never read anything by Schiff but long to read her newest collection, The Bed Moved: Stories, which was already on my “to-read” list!

The subject matter of this story calls to mind one of my favorite shows, “Weed”. Like the show, it’s hilarious if you let it be. Great way to begin the lunch hour…with the munchies?

Here. Read this:

Day Four: If I Ruled the City!

There is a creative writing challenge I like to participate in when I can. 100 words inspired by one. This week, the word is “Pretend”. Here you go:

A dapper gentleman was caning down the sidewalk carefully scrutinizing the city cement. I’d noticed the elegant stature and silver cornrows first as she closed the sidewalk space between us. When their shoulders met, he spoke.

“You have beautiful hair.”

She tipped her head.

“You just made her day,” I said.

“I meant to.”

In my pretend world, I’d outlaw earbuds so people could hear birds, and buses, and actual voices. I’d ticket for web-surfing while walking instead of parking. Maybe even “Googling” while I had the pad out. Because simple displays of sweetness are easily missed when texting.

*******************

What are your thoughts on this? Are you the type who is constantly on your phone? No judgement here. I try to leave mine at home whenever possible. I don’t walk the city streets with earbuds installed. I am at a point in my life where I don’t want to miss a thing!

Day One: Email Two

[Blogger’s Note: Epic fail! I sent three articles to the forbidden inbox! Plus, I spelled “weaning” “weening”. Was that some sort of Freudian slip? Someone slap my hands!]

To: You

From: Me

11:20am

Subject: Okay, I’ll stop after this one (I hope!)

Oh, how I love Brain Pickings. And Susan. And Albert (I sent you The Fall ages ago. Have you read yet?)

Susan Sontag on Storytelling, What It Means to Be a Moral Human Being, and Her Advice to Writers

How Our Minds Mislead Us: The Marvels and Flaws of Our Intuition

If you care to know what I’m reading, look here.

Really, bye (I think.)!!!

 

Day One

[Blogger’s Note: I have decided the format for my posts here, at least for now, will be emails since this is the particular habit I am trying to change/avoid unless I think of another way to reenact the “constant barrage of daily shit” phenomena. Bear with me as I work through the creative kinks (did someone just say “kinky”? No, that’s stuff is for Fridays) and the inner workings of WordPress. I’ve always been a Blogspot girl.)]

SidewalkPoetry2

To: You

From: Me

10:55am

Subject: Lunchtime poetry links

Sidewalks covered in secret poems: http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/bostons-streets-are-covered-in-secret-poems?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=atlas-page

The most commonly used words in poetry: http://mypoeticside.com/featured/poetic-wordclouds-these-are-the-most-common-words-in-poetry

Guess who wins the poetry contest? Computers or humans? http://www.csmonitor.com/Books/2016/0519/Computer-or-poet-Humans-win-this-round-of-poetry-contest

Remember when I sent you this Susan Sontag quote?

I have loved people passionately whom I wouldn’t have slept with for anything, but I think that’s something else. That’s friendship — love, which can be a tremendously passionate emotion, and it can be tender and involve a desire to hug or whatever. But it certainly doesn’t mean you want to take off your clothes with that person. But certain friendships can be erotic. Oh, I think friendship is very erotic, but it isn’t necessarily sexual. I think all my relationships are erotic: I can’t imagine being fond of somebody I don’t want to touch or hug, so therefore there’s always an erotic aspect to some extent.

Okay, bye.

Thanks to a Friend

image

Yesterday, someone I consider a friend used the phrase “constant barrage of daily shit” in relation to the number of emails with which I have been showering their inbox. In truth, they are correct. I was, and can be, overwhelming when it comes to interacting with someone I like. Believe you me, I can be almost as underwhelming especially when determined to be so. But I am always charming (Hey you! Remember that!).

The light bulb moment for “Your Daily Barrage of Sh!t” came to me in the middle of the night (Wait does your mind work/write in the middle of the night, too?) as a way to quell my desire to bombard this particular friend with my continual over-sharing, and possibly turn it into the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” variety because I don’t not want to be friends.

Listen, I send this person all kinds of fun shit from book reviews, pictures, interesting articles (mostly about literature, sometimes about sex), sassy fictional pieces, descriptions of how I am dressed, and other things ranging from mild-mannered to the major enticement type. But I have a problem, and my friend has an issue, with the quantity, but hopefully not the quality, of my attempts to distract.

I get it. I do. Hence, the birth of  “Your Daily Barrage of Sh!t”, and now you will be the recipients of my bountiful and overflowing cup of creative juices!

So let’s turn the proverbial lemons into lemonade, shall we?

I’m going to barrage this blog on a daily basis with the stuff I’d typically send to that inbox. Switch flipped! Watch out!

Some days it may merely be a word or a phrase or a thought. Other days I may tell you a story. Occasionally I’ve been known to rant, so there surely will be some of that. There could be pictures. Articles. Ponderings. Who knows?

This is where YOU, my future readers and friends, come into play because “Your Daily Barrage of Sh!t” is for all of us!

Want to tell me something? I will listen and comment.

Rant? I’ll commiserate and comment

Tell me a story? After gushing all over you, I will comment.

Just want to comment? I worship them, and I’ll comment back.

I’ve got this! Can you feel it too? Now let’s start having some fun.

Cheers!

[Blogger’s note: I hope I can find my way back here from the laptop since I began this exciting adventure on my phone!]